Denial will eventually runs its course. With time, the initial shock of the trauma wears off or the high of the peak dissolves. Daily demands can no longer be postponed or minimally tended. You are left with “your life as usual” despite the fact that the inner you feels totally different–you stare starkly at life around you which has disturbingly, remained the same.  

The world has not stopped because your world has changed. In a real sense, the contrast between your inner and outer domains may leave you wondering how to navigate, there is a real sense of being lost in a way that says, “I no longer fit.” It is common to have insistent questions such as, “What happened to me?” “Who am I?” “What do I do now?” “Why me?” “Why do I have to be stuck here?” and “Why now?”


You might have day dreams of having a different life, “If only ____ could happen,” you may have a desire to return to the transformative experience, or to erase the pivotal events and go back to life before the life-changing incident. The day dreams speak to the part of you that knows how you want your life to be or how life ought to be, you want to start a certain business, have a certain rank, partner or lifestyle. Disorientation stems being in the situation where a canyon lies between you and the life that you want for yourself combined with the knowledge that the unless you suddenly grow wings (or win the lottery), you must embark upon a seemingly impossible journey. This overwhelming dissonance inevitably invites despair and confusion. During this phase, movement forward means giving yourself permission to feel all feelings, and accepting each emotion as valid, normal, and important, and trusting that you can make it to the other side of the canyon using a meandering path that lies within each advancing step.

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